Real Housewives of Melbourne

22 major moments from season 3 of Real Housewives of Melbourne

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The Shane Warne Saga

Did Shane Warne ask Janet out? Was Lydia flirting with him? Will we ever know? Probably not.

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Aaaaaaawkwaaaaaard.

“I wanted to smack that Lydiot.”

The claws are OUT. Witty, Janet.

Those cringe-worthy moments between Lydia and her Asian housekeeper

“We’re going chong chong, not ching ching… Whatever, it all sounds the same to me.”

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Her face says it all.

When Pettifleur tries to get Gamble’s attention through rumours of her soon-to-be husband

“JUST LISTEN TO ME SUGARDADDY.COM.”

When Lydia forgets how to “spock”

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When Jackie becomes a psychic

Actually a very touching segment. Jackie tells Susie her grandmother Rosie is happy in heaven, delivering a heart-warming message. Grandfather Frank is there too, who is excited—of all things—that you can “smoke in heaven”.

Janet’s wise advise about child-making to Jackie

“Do you want a Scorpio or a Leo?… You don’t want a child that’s not compatible with you.”

 

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Wow, she should write a book about these revolutionary ideas.

When Gamble has the PERFECT come-back.

Pettifleur: “My perfume would smell sexy.”
Gamble: “Like cum?”
DEAR LORD.

When Gamble’s son Rick keeps it real about the 12-tier wedding cake

“Do your friends even eat calories?”

Pettifleur’s awkward initial rejection of Gamble’s wedding invite

Pettifleur: “I think you should think about it.”
Gamble: “Okay, I’ve thought about it. Get fucked.

Gina’s super awkward pre-wedding disappearance for a “private viewing party of Celebrity Apprentice

“Does watching yourself on TV mean more than your best friend’s wedding?”

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You can smell the betrayal already.

Gamble’s perfect wedding ceremony:

“It’s probably the most beautiful moment of my life.” Storms couldn’t wash away the perfect day—but wait, the storm comes later. In the form of disgruntled Housewives.

 

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Everything’s perfect… for now.

The perfect “aww” family moment

Gamble to Luke, her husband’s son: “If I couldn’t dreamt up a son in my wildest dreams, you’re the perfect, perfect son.”

Susie’s SUPER awkward date

This charmer has a super-evolved theory of two types of women—the ones you want to sleep with, and the unattractive ones you take to meet your mum. Cue Susie’s “help me” ear-ripping code.

When Gina’s “very happy with the D”

Good for you, Gina! By the way, we mean fragrance D for her perfume. Not something else. Get your heads out of the gutter.

When Lydia makes out with a seal

“It was divine. A seal has the hots for me? Never had that kind of fish on my lips.”

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Well, she is a self-proclaimed flirt.

When Lydia says Dubai “Feels like home”

I can’t keep up with all these zingers. She can’t even name what country Dubai is in.

When Pettifleur explodes and becomes a wordsmith

“STOP THE FUCK!” So eloquent.

When Janet has the hots for a Sheik

“We were on camels yesterday… Honestly, I could ride a camel ALL DAY.” Smooooooth.

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Oh, hello there.

When tensions between Gina and Gamble rise—and Gina is ice cold

“Don’t be a fucking sook about bullshit… I can’t be bothered.” Ouch.

Drag queen donkeys

THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER.

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Werk it, girlfriend.

When Gamble’s step-son Luke tells it like it is

“You have terrible choice in friends. They’re just a . . . violent pack of bitches.”

 

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Gamble, pretending Luke isn’t wrong.

And Jackie’s face—just because

 

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Really, her facial expressions MADE the show.

Remind me, why are they friends again?

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