Ah, Tinder. You’re as useful as you are cringe-worthy. We’ve all heard about the horror stories—whether they’ve happened to us, or to someone we know. And yet, for some reason, we continue to swipe right, unbeknownst to us that we may be about to invite a total creep into our life.
For the few people who actually have successful relationships and friendships from Tinder, we salute you. But for the rest of us mere mortals, Tinder is hilarious, strange, insulting, creepy and sometimes downright sad. And thanks to the wonders of the internet, our discomfort will now be your entertainment—enjoy!
“I tried out Tinder for like 3 days but then deleted it because no one would match with me.” –L, 25.
“[Some guy told me:] I wish you were my little toe, because I’d bang you on the coffee table.” –T, 21.
What a pick up line!
“I had a guy from Tinder actually track me down and introduce himself to me at uni. I didn’t recognise him because he looked nothing like his picture.” –Z, 20.
Awkward. Pro tip: don’t stalk people you’re interested—because it (usually) doesn’t work.
“I say hey, and they never reply.” –R, 21.
“I once turned a Tinder conversation into a business deal to make a website for my business.”—S, 20.
I’m not sure it’s supposed to work like that, but good on you!
“Guy: Hey. What’s your snapchat?
Me: Why? You’re not going to send me pictures of your junk, are you?
Guy: Lol wtf? No . . . do guys do that?
Me: Yes. It’s usually the only reason they want to add girls on Snapchat.
Guy: I promise I won’t do that.
Me: Okay. *Gives Snapchat*.
. . . Five minutes later . . .
*Receives snap from guy; opens it. It’s a dick pick.*
Me: You motherfucker.” –S, 30.
We’ve been there girl. I hear you. Guys, please don’t send random women pictures of your genitals. We really don’t like it.
“I had a guy randomly ask me in the middle of a conversation if I wanted to see him naked. As if that were some kind of fantastic pick up line or something.” Z, 20.
Smooth as butter.
“I invited a guy over, and he looked a lot larger than his photos . . . [when] I saw him at the end of the drive way . . . Shamefully, I grabbed my phone off charge in the lounge room where the windows were open and hid in my bedroom. Heard him knocking for ages. Eventually, he left and I messaged him saying why didn’t you come around? I pretended I was in the back room and must not have heard him. So ashamed!” –K, 24.
Ah, poor guy!
“I had a guy ask to be his second partner for him and his pregnant wife. He said with his Mrs being preggers, they wanted a third party to join in to spice things up a little for them both. I deleted Tinder the next day.” –A, 20.
Probably not one of the strangest things to occur on Tinder . . .
“I went on a first date with this girl from Tinder and she messaged me later telling me she loved me. “—D, 21.
But, what if it was love at first sight, D?
“[I was on a date with this guy in America and he] wouldn’t stop nodding at me. Even when we were not talking. It was super awkward.” –A, 21.
“I didn’t realise Tinder was a dating ap. So I looked for both guys and girls, hoping to make some friends. Safe to say I probably wasted the time of a few lesbian women trying to find relationships.” –S, 20.
“A guy stood me up like five times, and I was awkwardly waiting for him for an hour at a bowling alley once.” –A, 21.
Let’s hope karma strikes back!
“On a date one guy legit talked about his drunken experiences the whole time and didn’t even take me anywhere, after sending me on a wild goose chase to find him. Then he just rambled about his drunken experiences and that his dad was rich.”—A, 21.
Impressive, tell me more?
“This one guy pretended to be Morty from the show Rick and Morty—literally everything he said was a quote from the show. It was pretty great.” –Z, 20.
I like what you got. Show me what you got.
And last, but certainly not least, this saga . . .
“Me: so I was talking to this girl, right . . .
Her: Hi, are you willing to be controlled and obey? I am a dominant mistress looking for a submissive to obey and worship me.
Me: Lol yeah, I could live with that.
(She told me to call her mistress and tell her my sex fantasies. I told her to tie me to something so hard it leaves marks and indents).
Her: But first . . . you need to undergo my online training . . . and sign a contract.
Me: Basically it was a scam site to try and get me to pay for sex from a random person off the internet.” –D, 21.
Well, then. There are no words for that.
May the odds be ever in your favour, fellow Tinder users.
Do you have any cringe-worthy Tinder moments? Let us know in the comments!